He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
