After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
