Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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