If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
