the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
