Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
