guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Randomize
