If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
