I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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