I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
