Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
