we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I just gift wrapped bread.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She even gives head with a lisp.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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