He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
