i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
