it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
