i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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