No, you can still breathe under the balls.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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