She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Randomize
