Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
