He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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