I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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