Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
