Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
