We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She needs sedatives and a leash
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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