We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
