that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
