so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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