How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
