Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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