I'm gonna have a badass scar
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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