he puts the penis in happiness.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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