I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
