I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
