what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
