im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We left the knife in your bed.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
