when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
