It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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