Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
