wrigley field is MILF paradise
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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