Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
