you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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