these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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