just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I had to cum in my sink.
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