Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
