Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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