That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
