Where did you get a picture of my penis
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It's just like the Real World with babies
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
