Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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