that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
