Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
