I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
