I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
