two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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