Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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