Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
